


Flowers and Pungent Tea

by ArthurtheGatekeeper



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: And neither of them realize, Angst with a Happy Ending, Geralt thinks he's going to die but he's fine, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, The flowers are born from unrequited romantic love, and their is a functional cure, cause they both himbos, its great unless your two certified himbos, very low angst levels for hanahaki disease i think tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23842795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArthurtheGatekeeper/pseuds/ArthurtheGatekeeper
Summary: Jaskier was no stranger to Hanahaki disease. He'd had it countless times. He even carried a supply of the pungent tea that cured it. A wonderful little cure that removed only feelings unrequited.Geralt had never had it before. So when Jaskier offered him the cure for the dandelions filling his lungs he drank. Too bad it kept coming back.It wasn't his fault Jaskier was so easy to love.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 55
Kudos: 951





	Flowers and Pungent Tea

The bard often had an odd smell to him. Like flowers and a pungent tea. The flowers; Daisies, Daffodils, marigolds, roses, celandines all changed frequently and rarely lasted long. 

The scent usually only got strong when they stayed in a town for a while. Presumably because Jaskier had time and reason to apply the fragrance. Although how he applied the flowers between songs Geralt hadn’t figured out. 

It always started off faint. Just a whiff he’d catch on the man’s breath between sets. If they stayed long enough it would become overwhelming. Fill their room with the floral shit. 

Sometimes he’d catch a thorn of blood.

Then the pungent tea would flood his scent and both would fade into nothing. After a few days on the road he’d smell only of sweat, sweet grass and lute oil. That was a pleasant smell.

If he called camp early some days so they’d reach town tomorrow instead of tonight, well it wasn’t because the flowers gave him a headache. Made his stomach roll. It was just because Jaskier complained about his sore feet and he was giving him the break he’d requested. He’d appreciate that.

Jaskier would have appreciated the bed at the inn more of course. He made that abundantly clear each time they sunk into their bedrolls. Geralt’s arm slung over Jaskier’s frame to keep him warm. Jaskier would complain if he didn’t. Or worse, shiver the night away in silence as he’d done early in their travels.

And if the warmth of another person next to him and the scent of sweet grass filling his lungs helped him sleep easier no one had to know. 

It was just more cost effective this way. They’d have arrived too late for Jaskier to play anyway. This way they’d arrive early enough to get start on any contracts and, if there were none, they could continue on. If they went fast enough through a town the scent of flowers never grew stronger than trace on Jaskier’s breath.

The flowers came oddly one day. Broke the pattern. They had made camp. The flowers never came on the road. It was apple blossoms this time. The scent irritated him. It would hide the sweet grass, lute oil, sweat. Hopefully it would pass quickly.

It did not.

The smell kept getting stronger and stronger. He couldn’t sleep next to him it was so overpowering. He couldn’t have slept anyway with the way Jaskier coughed more and more. But the scent was too much.

Jaskier walked slower during the days. Claimed digestive irritability and frequently ducked off the path to cough. Like he thought Geralt wouldn’t notice. Wasn’t paying attention. Didn’t care.

He set a slower pace. Paused Roach in the shade to cool off. Claimed it was too hot to move her any faster.

Jaskier just looked at him when he said that. Like he was begging for something but wouldn’t tell him what. He didn’t know how to ask what it was. So they kept on.

“We’re friends right Geralt?” 

They only just finished making camp and already the clearing stunk of blossoms. His head ached and his stomach rolled. He doubted he’d be able to stomach dinner. He grunted, only half hearing the question, and departed the site as quickly as he could.

He caught two rabbits. It was more than they needed combined with what was in his pack but he’d relished the fresh air and had been in no hurry to return.

He stopped at the clearings edge. Jaskier hadn’t noticed him.

Apple blossoms choked the air. But one scent cut through it.

Blood.

Jaskier was curled into a ball. Holding something in cupped hands like it was the most important thing in the world.

He advanced on him. There was a ring of petals around Jaskier. Some white, some pink, some white with pink tips. In his hands were a small cluster of fully formed blossoms, tinged red with blood.

“Hanahaki disease, I’m afraid. I’m rather prone to it.”

He’d heard of it, although he’d never experienced it himself. It was triggered by unreturned romantic love. Flowers would grow in the host’s lungs, feeding off of it. Growing faster the deeper one loved until the roots gripped the delicate tissue and the host coughed their lungs apart trying to dislodge the flowers.

He realized that _rather prone to it _was a massive understatement. As uncommon as requited love might be, people never got it for passing fancies. You didn’t fall in love in the space of a musical set no matter how pretty the blond at the bar was. No one could love that freely and deeply.__

__Except for Jaskier._ _

__He looked at those women like they had set the stars in the sky. Like he’d found his god at the end of a lifetime of pilgrimage. Jaskier actually loved them. It wasn’t a lie or a play. He actually loved them._ _

__And no one else loved so deeply, so quickly. Even if they did take him to bed. So his lungs filled with flowers._ _

__It was a kind of revelation to Geralt. It had never even occurred to him that might be what was happening. It was absurd. It was so Jaskier._ _

__It was killing him._ _

__He wouldn’t let him die for some random bar maid who’d fell out of love with him after they’d left town._ _

__He remembered the pungent tea smell. How it faded the flowers into sweet grass._ _

__“The tea?” He asked uncertain. Jaskier had some in his lute case. He could smell it now that he was trying. It must have been in a sealed container to be so faint but he still had some. They could fix this._ _

__He hummed a confirmation but didn’t look up, petting the flowers in his hand._ _

__“Yes the tea treats it. Removes all unrequited feelings for the other person. Rather brilliant little thing honestly. If you’re nothing more than an acquaintance to them then that’s what you become. A friend, business partner, colleague? It’ll consume any feelings unreturned.”_ _

__That was perfect then. He would drink the tea, the flowers would go away, and everything would be fine again._ _

__Jaskier didn’t move._ _

__“Then…” Jaskier had never let it get this bad before. He didn’t know what was different. The pattern was broken and he didn’t know why. He didn’t understand. “You should drink it.”_ _

__Jaskier nodded but didn’t move._ _

__Geralt got up. Found the vial packed tight with the pungent herbs. A water skin. A cup. Started a fire. Jaskier fell into a violent coughing fit and blood filled the clearing once more. He didn’t stop to comfort the man. A cure would be fair more helpful then a pat on the back._ _

__When the coughing fit finally subsided Jaskier watched him. After a moment he spoke. “It’s all unrequited feelings Geralt.”_ _

__He made a sound of acknowledgement but didn’t stop. He’d drank the tea plenty of times before. He’d smelt it. This was no different._ _

__“All of them Geralt! All the care and friendship! All of it will be gone!” There was a twist of desperation to his voice that Geralt couldn’t understand._ _

__They hadn’t even been in town that long. However much care and friendship he’d managed to build in a week wasn’t worth his fucking life. Especially if they didn’t even return the feelings._ _

__He held out the cup. “If that’s gone you weren’t friends anyway and they’re certainly not worth dying over.”_ _

__Jaskier studied him. Weighted his words. Looked down at the flowers in his hands.  
His shoulders slumped. “I suppose you’re right.” Tossed them in the fire and accepted the cup._ _

__He grimaced at it. Screwed his eyes shut. Downed it in one shot._ _

__His face contorted and he stuck his tongue out. “It tastes so bad!” He complained._ _

__Or Geralt assumed that’s what he had said. The words were significantly garbled by the fact Jaskier wouldn’t put his tongue back in his mouth. He allowed himself a flash of amusement as he took the cup back._ _

__He wiped it down and set it away to dry. He remembered the rabbits he’d discarded earlier. He found them and sat down to prepare them. He’d have to be quick unless one of them decided to collect more firewood. Jaskier was watching him again. It made his skin itch._ _

__“Geralt?”_ _

__“We need more firewood.”_ _

__“Oh- alright. I’ll go get some then.” He got up and started to leave camp. At the edge of the clearing he stopped and looked back at him again. “I’m glad we’re friends Geralt.”_ _

__“We’re not.” He replied._ _

__He shook his head. “There is literally nothing you could say that would make me believe that.” And he marched off into the woods._ _

__

__Some days Geralt still catches apple blossom on his breath staunched immediately by pungent tea._ _

__

__He wishes it was less embarrassing. That he could blame the innkeeper who’d asked ‘One bed okay?’ like he already knew the answer. Or that woman at the pub who’d dropped her flirting the second he’d looked over to check on Jaskier with an apology of ‘I didn’t realize you were taken’. Or that little gaggle of girls who’d asked if they were married._ _

__He wishes he’d realized in the bathtub as Jaskier washed his hair with those wonderful forearms on display for him alone. Or when Jaskier bandaged a wound he couldn’t quite reach after a fight while needling him for details. Or maybe just after a particularly moving song._ _

__Any of those would have been fine._ _

__What was not fine was hearing Jaskier take a massive shit. Amusedly thinking ‘I love him’._ _

__And then realizing it was true._ _

__

__He woke up the next morning with Jaskier splayed over his chest and thin yellow petals on his tongue. He recognized the taste. Dandelions._ _

__He thought he was doing a good job of hiding it. It was just a little crush anyway. Jaskier was so annoying that he’d fall out of it before it became an issue._ _

__The next morning he coughed up complete heads._ _

__By dinner they were fully formed, stems and all._ _

__He doesn’t know why he thought Jaskier wouldn’t notice. He’s lived this disease over and over again his entire life. He’d said he’d lost count before he even graduated Oxenfurt. That the first time he coughed up a blossom he’d hadn’t even been a teen._ _

__Geralt can’t imagine falling in love that young or that fast. He can barely imagine it now, even as it strangles him._ _

__But he’s still surprised when Jaskier shoves a cup of the stuff at him with a look that says he knows exactly what’s going on._ _

__

__“Yennifer isn’t worth dying over Geralt. And I swear to god if you try to die for her I will shove this shit down your throat the second you pass out.”_ _

__Geralt looks at it. It’s not Yennifer. But the fact he’s coughing means Jaskier doesn’t love him back. He can’t find it in him to be upset by that. Jaskier deserved better anyway._ _

__But that doesn’t mean he wants to stop loving him, caring for him. His closest friend and companion. Such cures rooted out all unrequired feelings from their host. Would he drink it and go back to seeing Jaskier as no more than a nuisance? A business partner at best? The idea horrified him more than his coming demise._ _

__He pushed the cup away._ _

__Jaskier glared at him._ _

__“Geralt. I understand. I do. You have literally watched me do this plenty of times. I promise I get it. Not wanting to lose that precious, precious, love. But no amount of unrequited love is worth dying for. You’ve literally said as much to me. If they can’t see your worth then they don’t deserve you. It’s that simple. ”_ _

__Jaskier- lover of all people- couldn’t see his worth? Then perhaps there was none._ _

__“It’ll just come back.” If Jaskier stayed it would. He could feel that now. It was as much a certainty as the dawn._ _

__Even if he was nothing to Jaskier, if he drank it and they became nothing, if Jaskier stayed it would just happen again and again and again. He was too warm. Too gentle. Too stubborn. Geralt could fight a higher vampire and have a better chance of winning._ _

__Jaskier’s eyes soften at that. “Well. I suppose the Djinn curse would do that. But chronic hanahaki isn’t that bad.” He looked down at the cup and grimaced. “You do have to drink this terrible swill regularly but its fine. It only uproots unrequited love Geralt. If by some miracle, some awful-awful miracle, you and Yennifer are actually friends then you will still be friends after.”_ _

__Geralt looks down at the cup. He could already feel roots digging into his lungs._ _

__“We’re friends right?” He asked quietly. He can hear the desperation in his voice. He wonders if Jaskier recognized it._ _

__He looked surprised. Then pushed the cup towards him once again. “Of that I have no doubt Geralt.”_ _

__He searched his face for a lie. He prayed it wasn’t. He didn’t want to lose the one person who kept staying by his side._ _

__He downed it._ _

__It was terrible. But not nearly as bad as his potions. He coughed until the last flower dislodged._ _

__Jaskier rubbed his back as he coughed. The terrible all-consuming burning of his hand settled into a comforting warmth._ _

__They were friends. Jaskier had not lied about that. Every bone in his body melted with relief._ _

__The dandelions had stems, leaves, roots. They weren’t meant to get so big so fast. It was supposed to take weeks. Months._ _

__He tossed them into the fire pit and cast igni. The tightness in his chest was gone but he still didn’t want Jaskier to know they were for him._ _

__He’d be kind about it._ _

__He didn’t want him to be kind about it._ _

__The day passed without event._ _

__And the next._ _

__He came back to camp with three fish. Not a bad night. To Jaskier sticking his tongue out like he’d just tasted something absolutely awful. Made little disgusted retching noises. He was so dumb._ _

__It was adorable._ _

__He felt petals growing in his lungs._ _

__He took the cup half-finished from his hands and downed it._ _

__Still gross._ _

__Jaskier’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow already Geralt? That’s rough. Well. Chronic buddies!”_ _

__Jaskier was chronic? In a different way, he supposed, he was. He fell in love in every town. With everyone he met. Except Geralt._ _

__“Chronic buddies.” He agreed._ _

__

__It continued on like that. Once he make it a week before the flowers returned.  
More often he’d drink after Jaskier feel asleep but before climbing into bed with him for the night. Wake up in the morning with Jaskier in his arms drooling on him and he’d need a cup before the man had even risen._ _

__Jaskier seemed to manage on his weekly schedule. That was good. His human body could only handle so much of the stuff. Geralt couldn’t lose him._ _

__He needed Jaskier._ _

__Fuck he needed another cup._ _

__“Geralt. You need to talk to Yennifer.”_ _

__He didn’t look back at Jaskier from where he was mounted but the man seemed to read his confusion clearly anyway. If he didn’t look at Jaskier he could go longer between cups._ _

__“Look I know you think your being sneaky but I carry the tea. I can tell how much you’ve been drinking. This shit isn’t cheap Geralt! We can’t afford the rate we’re going through it!” That _he _was going through it Jaskier meant.___ _

____“I’ll make it then.” It couldn’t be much more difficult than his potions._ _ _ _

____“The herbs need to be dried for more than a week- which is very difficult on the road- and a mage has to enchant it Geralt. While I know you’re very good at those hand wavy things, unless you’ve been holding back on me, I think that’s beyond your skill set.”_ _ _ _

____He had a point._ _ _ _

____“So we ask Yennifer to make us a large batch? She won’t give us a discount.” She’d probably laugh at him. That might get them a discount actually. Was it worth it? Seemed unlikely._ _ _ _

____Jaskier was looking at him like he was an idiot. Which was rude. He kicked his shoulder._ _ _ _

____Jaskier made an overly dramatic noise at the offense. He smacked Geralt’s calf.  
“No you’re going to talk to her and figure this nonsense out. You had at least two cups last night after I went to bed. What you do? Spend all night rereading letters she sent you?” _ _ _ _

____No. Jaskier had bathed him and between the fingers in his hair and the warm fearless touches he’d needed a cup. He could feel blossoms growing into full flowers during that bath alone. When he had finally gotten out Jaskier was asleep so he drank a cup, sure that he was safe for the night._ _ _ _

____Then he had found an extra plate of food Jaskier had bought him for after the hunt._ _ _ _

____So he’d needed another before he could crawl in bed with him. And he always needed one when he woke up with Jaskier splayed out on top of him in the morning._ _ _ _

____“It’s absurd Geralt! You can’t be falling head over heels that quickly!” He wanted to disappear behind Roach. It wasn’t his fault Jaskier was so easy to love. But he couldn’t ask him to stop. That would mean admitting that he loved Jaskier._ _ _ _

____He also really didn’t want Jaskier to stop._ _ _ _

____“You do.” He pointed out._ _ _ _

____“No I fall in love frequently. Usually a day or two out of town and I’m right as rain again. No need for tea! For most of my life those were just emergency supplies!”_ _ _ _

____He wanted to point out that Jaskier drank the tea at least once a fortnight. That they were clearly no longer just emergency supplies. But Jaskier plowed on without him._ _ _ _

____“That djinn is going to be the death of us Geralt! We’re going to run out of tea and die in the forest at this rate!”_ _ _ _

____“No we won’t. The next town should have a supply. We’ll just buy more there.”_ _ _ _

____The next town did not have a supply. Or not one they were willing to part with for a Witcher or his bard. They had no mage and had to save the supply for their own._ _ _ _

____They had no choice but to continue on._ _ _ _

____Jaskier pushed hard. He didn’t complain when they march through lunch. Jittered nervously when Geralt insisted on resting Roach. Woke at first light and broke down camp without direction._ _ _ _

____He only needed the tea once a week or so. He’d surely make it to a town willing to help him even if they ran out. When they ran out. Geralt wasn’t sure why he was so anxious._ _ _ _

____Oh._ _ _ _

____He was scared for Geralt._ _ _ _

____His lungs are full again. He drops Roaches reigns and retches in the bushes. It takes a long time for it to subside. Jaskier has pulled his hair back with one hand and rubs his back with the other. The touch is burning. He hopes it never stops._ _ _ _

____He’s been speaking he realizes._ _ _ _

____“-Honestly thought that they’d be lilacs. Or maybe gooseberry flowers? Do gooseberries have flowers? Dandelions are a strange choice to be certain. Yennifer is going to hate it. A common useless weed. Although I have to admit I’ve not noticed any reason or pattern behind the whole flower/people combination. And my breadth of experience is quiet large so hopefully she doesn’t get her knickers in a twist over it. It wouldn’t really be fair. It’s not like you got to choose what kind of flower it was. Do you need a cup now or do you think you can manage a few more hours?”_ _ _ _

____He hadn’t realized Jaskier didn’t know what kind of flowers they were yet. He must have been doing a better job of hiding them they he’d thought._ _ _ _

____Or maybe Jaskier just hadn’t wanted to see._ _ _ _

____“I can keep going.” Jaskier’s giving him that look like he thinks he’s lying about how bad an injury is._ _ _ _

____That’s fair._ _ _ _

____But he can keep going. They’re running low as it is and even if he drinks it now he’ll just need another by dinner._ _ _ _

____Jaskier leans in and rests his head against his shoulder. It’s a warm comforting weight. This was worth dying for. He’d rather not die, of course, but at least he chosen someone warm. Another day with Jaskier would be worth it._ _ _ _

____“Alright, let’s go.” He’d waited until Geralt had caught his breath to agree. He knew that Geralt would have left as soon as he’d agreed. So he waited._ _ _ _

____He coughed up a few more petals._ _ _ _

____This would be so much easier if Jaskier didn’t care so much. If the tea did more than just take off the razor edge of his heart. If Jaskier just loved him back._ _ _ _

____But he didn’t._ _ _ _

____“You should ride.”_ _ _ _

____“Roach needs a break.”_ _ _ _

____“She just had one.”_ _ _ _

____They glared at each other. They had been pushing hard. Roach needed a break. And he didn’t appreciate the implication that he was slowing them down._ _ _ _

____He was. But he hated that Jaskier pointed it out._ _ _ _

____Roach head-butted him._ _ _ _

____Traitor._ _ _ _

____He climbed up._ _ _ _

____“You have a Xenovox for Yennifer right?”_ _ _ _

____“I had one.”_ _ _ _

____“Had?”_ _ _ _

____“Had.”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t suppose you just forgot it back at our lunch spot did you?”_ _ _ _

____“No. It broke.” Jaskier had dropped the bag it was in three weeks ago and in a stroke of terrible luck it had caught on a rock. One of the mechanisms had dislodged and it hadn't worked since._ _ _ _

____“oh.”_ _ _ _

____They walked in silence after that. Jaskier moved faster than he had the day before. He wondered how much tea they had left. If that was the reason for his rapid footfalls._ _ _ _

____Jaskier pulled out the tea and jerky for dinner. He’d set up camp mostly on his own. He didn’t ask Geralt to hunt. Which was good. He’d gotten out of breath just getting off Roach and walking over to sit down. Geralt had lit the fire at least._ _ _ _

____Jaskier always struggled with getting it to catch._ _ _ _

____Jaskier started making the tea._ _ _ _

____“Don’t make it yet.” He wheezed. That wasn’t the reassuring sound he’d wanted._ _ _ _

____Jaskier gave him a death glare. It wasn’t particularly intimidating. “Geralt you can’t breathe.”_ _ _ _

____“It’ll just come back.” He’d need another cup before he could sleep and they were running out. He suppressed a coughing fit although it made the world spin dizzily._ _ _ _

____“Oh so I’m supposed to just- what let you die? No. I’m not fucking doing that. I swear Geralt I will pour this awful shit down your throat after you pass out and I will haul your sorry ass up on Roach’s back and we will carry you into town if that’s what it fucking takes. But don’t you fucking dare suggest I leave you to this.”_ _ _ _

____He didn’t catch all of that. But. That seemed like a good idea._ _ _ _

____“You should do that.”_ _ _ _

____“Geralt what did I Literally just say!”_ _ _ _

____“After I pass out.” Jaskier looked surprised. It gave him a chance to catch his breath. “I can’t fall back in love if I’m unconscious.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh.” Jaskier considered that. “How far is the next town?”_ _ _ _

____“Four days.” He considered how fast they’d moved today. “Maybe five.” His vision darkened like he’d been underwater too long._ _ _ _

____Jaskier was in front of him. He had a cup. When had he moved?_ _ _ _

____“Drink Geralt.” The cup was at his lips. He vaguely remembered that he shouldn’t although he couldn’t figure out why. Jaskier’s eyes were so blue. He’d do anything for those eyes._ _ _ _

____He drank._ _ _ _

____He coughed._ _ _ _

____He retched._ _ _ _

____He breathed._ _ _ _

____“There.” Jaskier sighed in relief. “Now we can figure out a fucking plan.”_ _ _ _

____He loved that voice._ _ _ _

____There were petals in his lungs._ _ _ _

____“The tea’s not working. Its back already.”_ _ _ _

____“What? You can’t be serious. Geralt please tell me that’s your idea of a joke!”_ _ _ _

____He shook his head._ _ _ _

____“Fuck.”_ _ _ _

____Fuck indeed._ _ _ _

____“Ok so Plan knock Geralt out might need to be our actual plan. Do you have any potions that can keep you unconscious? We can get you on Roach and give you the tea and then knock you out and we’ll make it to town and buy more tea and call Yennifer and Everything will be Fine!” He paced around the camp even though Geralt could smell the popped blister on his foot, his voice climbing the octaves gathering hysterical note after hysterical note._ _ _ _

____“Jaskier.” His eyes snapped to Geralt. Teetering on the edge of full blown panic. “It’s not your fault.”_ _ _ _

____He probably should have commented on the plan. Discussed that while such potions existed he had no reason to carry any, or how attaching him to Roach while unconscious would be a difficult task for Jaskier even if they managed it, or that reaching town did not guarantee more tea or a way to contact Yennifer or any other mage in fact._ _ _ _

____But he wanted to be clear. That even if he found out it was Jaskier he’d been in love with it was okay. That it wasn’t his fault. That he understood Jaskier couldn’t love him. That the fact they were friends was more than enough. He’d have been happy with just that forever._ _ _ _

____“Oh it’s not my fault huh! Not my fault he says!” He was pulling at his hair and Geralt could hear the way his heart raced faster with each word._ _ _ _

____“Like it wasn’t me he carried into Yennifer’s fucking manor!” Geralt stood up._ _ _ _

____“Like it wasn’t me you were slowing down for when you could have galloped to safety on Roach!” The sweet grass was buried under waves of terror._ _ _ _

____“Like it’s not my tea that’s fucking failed you!” He caught Jaskier’s wrist._ _ _ _

____“Jaskier!” Wild eyes snapped to him. “It’s Not!”_ _ _ _

____Jaskier’s lip was quivering. “Geralt what are we going to do?” he asked in a tiny voice._ _ _ _

____He didn’t know._ _ _ _

____But Jaskier was shaking. So he pulled him close like Jaskier had just been cold and not terrified. One hand around his back. Jaskier’s head fell into his shoulder. He tilted his head to rest atop it. Slowly the sweet grass and lute oil returned._ _ _ _

____“Geralt we have to figure something out. I can’t lose you.” His chest constricted painfully. He breathed Jaskier in. His lungs were no fuller when it finally loosened._ _ _ _

____“How much tea is left?” That would give him a timeline at least._ _ _ _

____Jaskier hesitated. That was bad._ _ _ _

____“Maybe three cups.” He wouldn’t make it to dinner tomorrow on three cups. He buried the grimace in Jaskier’s hair._ _ _ _

____“We should eat.” He didn’t let go._ _ _ _

____Jaskier hummed in agreement. He didn’t pull back._ _ _ _

____It was getting dark. The meager fire Jaskier had built had burnt out. He looked up and watched the stars flicker on above them._ _ _ _

____He would probably never see them again._ _ _ _

____Jaskier nuzzled into his shoulder. He wasn’t going to sleep tonight._ _ _ _

____Jaskier’s legs were shaking. He shifted his arms and lowered the bard to the ground._ _ _ _

____Once he was fully seated he let himself breath in one more time before pulling away. It was dark enough Jaskier would have trouble seeing. He handed him the jerky he’d pulled out earlier and began digging through the saddlebag._ _ _ _

____He didn’t remember taking it off Roach. Or brushing her down. He looked over to her concerned. What would Roach do once he was gone?_ _ _ _

____She’d been properly unsaddled and brushed down. He suspected it had been hastily done but it had been done. And not by him._ _ _ _

____She’d let Jaskier brush her down. He wondered if he’d cleaned her hoofs as well._ _ _ _

____“Geralt what are you doing?” Jaskier called. He remembered what he was doing._ _ _ _

____He grabbed what he needed and walked back. “You brushed Roach down?”_ _ _ _

____“And picked her hooves although she was far less polite about that.” Geralt heart swelled. Roach would be alright then. Jaskier would take care of her for him._ _ _ _

____He hooked his hand under Jaskier’s calf and lifted so his foot was off the ground. Jaskier let out an undignified squeak. Geralt let himself smile at it. Jaskier couldn’t see it anyway._ _ _ _

____“What are you doing!”_ _ _ _

____He pulled the boot and sock off. “Your foot is hurt.”_ _ _ _

____“What- I- its not-” He floundered. Geralt applied the ointment to his heel and grabbed the bandage. Jaskier trailed off._ _ _ _

____“You noticed.” He said after the bandage was wrapped._ _ _ _

____“Hmm.” He agreed. “Not too tight?”_ _ _ _

____“No. Its prefect.”_ _ _ _

____“Put your shoe back on.” He told him grabbing the jerky and biting into it hungrily._ _ _ _

____He could feel Jaskier watching him, although he couldn’t have been more than a large silhouette to the man. Most people made him uncomfortable when they stared. Jaskier usually did too but for different reasons._ _ _ _

____Tonight though he enjoyed it._ _ _ _

____He wanted Jaskier to look at him like ladies at the bar who caught his eye. Like he had hung the stars in the sky._ _ _ _

____Jaskier wasn’t looking at him like that. But he pretended he was._ _ _ _

____He flopped back on the bedroll. The sky was clear. He’d watch the stars cross the sky one last time._ _ _ _

____Jaskier crawled over to him and settled into his normal spot against his side, head tucked against his chest._ _ _ _

____“Do you need a cup before bed?” He whispered, like he was scared of the answer._ _ _ _

____He had needed one every night before this to avoid choking to death in his sleep._ _ _ _

____He breathed in. He could feel petals irritating his lungs. But no blossoms. No roots._ _ _ _

____“No. Not tonight.” He waited for Jaskier to argue. But after a moment he realized Jaskier could probably hear the truth in his refusal, pressed against his chest like that._ _ _ _

____“Wake me if you do?” He reached his arm around Jaskier to hold him, like every night. And then he covered the one on his chest with his own, unlike most nights._ _ _ _

____“Hmmm.” It wasn’t a promise or a refusal. But he’d likely rouse Jaskier accidentally if he did anyway._ _ _ _

____He listened to Jaskier slowly slip into slumber as the stars moved above them._ _ _ _

____He was going to miss this._ _ _ _

____He was going to miss everything._ _ _ _

____Wasn’t that odd? He gone so long not wanting anything, not caring about anything and now that he was stuck wanting and caring it soon all be over._ _ _ _

____Jaskier had really fucked him up._ _ _ _

____He’d never been more grateful._ _ _ _

____Roach wandered over to them. Jaskier’s slip knot was rarely much of a knot. He’d hadn’t bothered fixing it because he knew she’d stay._ _ _ _

____She lowered her face until they were sharing the same air._ _ _ _

____“I love you Roach.” He considered reaching up and petting her but in the dark it’d likely startle her. “Take care of him for me alright?”_ _ _ _

____She snorted and moved off. That was as close as he’d get to agreement from her._ _ _ _

____She was a good horse._ _ _ _

____He’d miss her too._ _ _ _

____Jaskier shifted against him and started drooling against his chest._ _ _ _

____He loved him so much._ _ _ _

____He didn’t really need to sleep. But he was tired. And he could feel flower heads collecting in his chest. Maybe if he went to sleep he’d get another dinner with Jaskier._ _ _ _

____He closed his eyes and let the scent of sweet grass carry him away._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____He bolted awake to Jaskier cursing, reaching for his swords._ _ _ _

____Jaskier was clutching one foot and given the saddle next to him he’d probably dropped it on it._ _ _ _

____He noticed Geralt was awake and painfully hissed out a greeting._ _ _ _

____“I already grabbed water if you need tea.”_ _ _ _

____He considered that. His lungs rattled ominously but they weren’t being torn apart. He shook his head and motioned for him to wait while he expelled the nights growth._ _ _ _

____Jaskier’s shadow settled next him and his hand gripped his shoulder trying to offer comfort._ _ _ _

____Witchers didn’t need comfort._ _ _ _

____But he did enjoy it._ _ _ _

____“Just blossoms? Did you sneak a cup last night or something?”_ _ _ _

____He shook his head._ _ _ _

____“Is it… slowing down?”_ _ _ _

____It didn’t feel like it. His shoulder stilled burned where Jaskier’s hand pressed into it. He still longed to turn around and kiss the man. Press into him until they both smelt of sweet grass and lute oil._ _ _ _

____Until they were so wound up in each other that the innkeepers would even ask if one bed was ok. Until no one approached him with lust in their eyes because they knew he was taken. Until the brave little girls who approached them would ask when they had gotten married, not if._ _ _ _

____He wanted so much. Yesterday it had strangled him. Now?_ _ _ _

____Now he could almost breathe around it._ _ _ _

____He turned to Jaskier and surveyed him._ _ _ _

____He looked surprised. He looked exhausted. His clothes were dusty and rumpled and his hair was disheveled in the way Geralt normally only got see the morning after a night of heavy drinking. He was showing every mile they’d covered the last few days. His eyes were still bright._ _ _ _

____“I’m the same as yesterday.” He sniffed Jaskier. Looked him over. Trying to find proof of what he suspected. He resisted the urge to circle the man, but only barely._ _ _ _

____“Ok? But yesterday you got winded getting off Roach. You seem. Better?” He gave Geralt a confused and uncomfortable face at the sniffing. He usually tried to be more discrete about it for that reason._ _ _ _

____He breathed in deeply. No petals irritated his lungs. Just sweet grass and lute oil._ _ _ _

____“They’re gone.”_ _ _ _

____Jaskier jumped forward and grabbed his face, positively gleeful. “Really?”_ _ _ _

____He slowly reached up and covered Jaskier’s hands in his and nodded._ _ _ _

____“How the fuck Geralt? Not for nothing but it doesn’t just go away like that! Not when your so far gone you're growing roots! I should know!”_ _ _ _

____“When was the last time you had the tea Jaskier?” He blinked and started to draw his hands back. Geralt let him but didn’t release his hands. He held them gently between them not wanting to lose the point of contact._ _ _ _

____“A week and a half ago maybe? I’d been trying to cut back to make it last longer because- well you needed it more than me.” He was staring at their conjoined hands like they were some advanced riddle written backwards in a language he’d only heard once. “How does that have anything to do with you and Yennifer?”_ _ _ _

____“I’m not in love with Yennifer.”_ _ _ _

____“Could have fooled me.” He scoffed._ _ _ _

____“I’m not.” He insisted taking a small step forward._ _ _ _

____“Oh.” His brow furrowed. “She’ll be happy to learn she wasn’t a useless weed then. She’d have hated being a dandelion.” He was looking at something behind Geralt’s shoulder._ _ _ _

____“Dandelions aren’t useless. I like them a great deal.” He leaned closer._ _ _ _

____“I- well- alright then. I don’t really see who else it could have been then Geralt, if you’ve been holding out on me- well-” They were toe to toe now. The tips of Jaskier’s ears were red and it was rapidly spreading._ _ _ _

____“Who were the apple blossoms for Jaskier?” He startles at that and takes a step back. His gaze meeting him for only a moment before skittering away._ _ _ _

____“I don’t see how that relates.”_ _ _ _

____“It broke the pattern. You never flare up while we’re out here. Then you did. You let it get bad. Who were the blossoms for?”_ _ _ _

____Jaskier curled into himself somewhat. “I sounds like you already know. Don’t be cruel Geralt.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m not. I just want to be sure.”_ _ _ _

____“Sure of what Geralt!” Their eyes locked. Jaskier’s eyes grew wide with disbelieving recognition._ _ _ _

____“The tea’s been getting weaker. Any idea why Jaskier?” Jaskier licked his lips. Geralt glanced down at the motion._ _ _ _

____“I have a theory.” He moved closer until their noses almost touched and then tilted his head almost questioningly._ _ _ _

____“Want to test it?” He whispered against Jaskier’s lips._ _ _ _

____“Yes.” Jaskier’s lips were pressed against his firmly. His hand wound up into the disheveled brown mane and Jaskier shuddered against him._ _ _ _

____When Jaskier finally pulled away for a breath he immediately spent it on a delighted laugh._ _ _ _

____“Morning breath! Flowers and morning breath! Gross!”_ _ _ _

____Geralt grumbled and started to pull back. Jaskier’s hands shot up around his neck holding him in place._ _ _ _

____“Hey I didn’t say you could leave!”_ _ _ _

____“You just complained about my breath.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes because it’s very bad! But I have been wanting to do that for years and if you think you’re getting away with just one kiss-“ Geralt kissed him again. Jaskier moaned into it and when he was finally done he let Jaskier go. He looked contentedly boneless as he watched him gargle and rinse his mouth out._ _ _ _

____Jaskier floated back over to him and settled against his back wrapping his arms around his chest and tucking his head against Geralt’s neck. It seemed Jaskier had been holding back in his physical affections. A staggering concept. That Jaskier could both be more affectionate and actually hold back were novel ideas._ _ _ _

____“When did it start Geralt?” Jaskier whispered into his neck. Geralt grimaced and was grateful Jaskier couldn’t see it. He'd fallen back in love with Jaskier many times and very few of them were as embarrassing as the first one. He’d lie he decided. Jaskier would prefer a lie. He’d make a love ballad instead of a comedic one. He didn’t want to be laughed at in bars and the halls of Kaer Morhen forever._ _ _ _

____“Because I know the first time I realized what was going on you were already coughing up stems and I honestly felt a bit like a crap friend for not noticing sooner.” He blinked. That wasn’t what he’d expected. “You just let yourself suffer for what weeks? Did you forget I could help? Because honestly I felt terrible after I realized how bad you’d gotten without my noticing.”_ _ _ _

____Oh. That’s what he meant. He held Jaskier’s hands in his and rested his cheek against his crown._ _ _ _

____“It wasn’t weeks.” Jaskier let out a disbelieving huff against his neck. “It was. Two maybe three day before you noticed?”_ _ _ _

____Jaskier’s head jerked up in shock which hurt his neck a bit at the sudden dislodging. He was staring again._ _ _ _

____“Geralt it never goes that fast. Not the first time at least. You’ve got to build it up. Figure out what you want. What words you wish they’d say, what names you wish they’d call, what places you longed for them to touch.” He squeezed Geralt’s hand. He squeezed back. “After the first time it can go faster because you already have all those hopes and dreams ready and built and waiting but no one burns that fast the first time!”_ _ _ _

____Geralt looked down at their hands._ _ _ _

____That made sense. Jaskier had never gone so quickly. He fell for people in the space of a heartbeat. He’d need time to figure out how he wished to love them. Be loved by them._ _ _ _

____But he hadn’t had to figure that out. Hadn’t had to question what names he’d wanted or the touches he’d longed for or the words he craved._ _ _ _

____He’d already wanted them._ _ _ _

____He just hadn’t realized._ _ _ _

____“I think.” He started. His conclusion seemed sound but he still was afraid to say it. Jaskier hooked his chin over his shoulder and hummed. Begging him to go on. “I have loved you for a very long time.”_ _ _ _

____Jaskier looked astounded. Laughter burst forth from him and his pressed it into Geralt’s neck and jaw._ _ _ _

____“I have loved you for a very long time as well.”_ _ _ _

____After a bit he slid around Geralt. His arms holding the back of his neck as he leaned back as if taking in a vista, their hips flush against each other._ _ _ _

____“Geralt it seems to me that we are no longer in a rush to get to town. Which I must admit is a blessing for I do not know that my feet have another step in them.” He tilted his head in mock consideration. “No. No it seems they do not. Not a single step more. We simply must stay here for the rest of the day.”_ _ _ _

____Geralt rolled his eyes but let the man continue. There was a slyness to his grin that Geralt very much liked._ _ _ _

____“And since we must stay here- I will hear no protest- perhaps we might study a new topic together. Determine how our interests align?”_ _ _ _

____If they aligned as nicely as their hips Geralt would find no protest. He pulled Jaskier in for another kiss._ _ _ _

____And they did._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this! I'd be thrilled to hear your thoughts! I'm abluescarfonwaston on tumblr if you want to visit over there! Let me know if i missed any important tags!  
> Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together.


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